


Bad Decisions

by Slothbeans



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Disability, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gen, Injury, Medical, Medical Trauma, Mentioned Flash Thompson, Minor Injuries, Muteness, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is a Mess, Protective Tony Stark, Self Confidence Issues, Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27985488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slothbeans/pseuds/Slothbeans
Summary: But that goes against everything the teenager wants. He loves his new powers. They make him special in a world where everyone is better than him. Either through looks, smarts, or even their ability to speak. This is something that makes him unique.Being Spider-Man makes him feel whole again.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 101
Collections: Irondad Fic Exchange 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skeeter_110](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeeter_110/gifts).



> A series of Drabbles connected by the song [ Bad Decisions by Bastille](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlQAZ4nNFUA)

**Love me, leave me**

**Rhythm of the evening, chasing a good time**

The night is the only time Peter Parker can get peace anymore.

Mornings are chaotic. Even when the boy isn’t sleeping past his alarm, he’s rushing to get a hold of everything he’ll need for the day. Through dreary eyes, he searches for all the items he’ll need for his classes. It’s common for him to forget at least one thing behind - usually his backpack or lunch, sometimes an important flash drive.

Maybe it’s his anxiety that makes him like this. He spends so much time overthinking - overanalyzing, maybe? - that he tends to forget the little things.

Afternoons aren’t much better. Peter’s stuck at school from early dawn until three. The chatter of his classmates is a constant noise he can’t drown out. He feels excluded because he can’t add to any of the conversations. Most don’t have the patience.

Evenings feel like the worst part of his day. He’s free from the pressures of his schoolwork, but only because he spends them with his father. His - _rich genius playboy_ \- father who’s probably the biggest celebrity on the entire planet. It’s a lot for a teenager to live up to.

But after dinner, when the clock strikes eight o’clock, it becomes Peter’s time. It’s when his father wishes him good night and goes downstairs to his lab. It’s become a nightly routine between the two men. The large suite is painfully quiet, with no one to speak to.

Peter stares proudly in the mirror as he pulls on his mask, then pulls the hood of his sweatshirt over to cover any gaps. This is the suit he made all by himself. Something to be proud of. This is what he’s good at and what makes him unique.

Peter Parker is broken and mute. But Spider-Man is the hero everyone wants to be.

**London's burning**

**If the world is ending, let's stay up all night**

Peter can’t lie. He knows what he does is dangerous.

If his father knew how he spent the night, he would absolutely kill him. He would never get another second unsupervised, grounded for the rest of his life, with no chance to see any of his friends again. Not that any of his classmates would miss him anyway. Only maybe Ned.

But he does enjoy his private time. He can’t bear to lose it when any time spent with his father comes with unbearable pressure. Not just societal pressure to be as successful and well-loved as the great Tony Stark, but pressure to speak to the only family he has.

He loves his dad so much. More than anyone on this planet. 

But this is something Peter has to do. No choice. He has little regret for his new lifestyle despite the constant physical and legal risks he is taking by becoming a hero.

Maybe it’s the view that eats away at his anxieties. Through his bedroom window is a world of endless opportunities and adventures. He clings to the side of Stark Tower with only his hands and feet. The smog of New York covers the sky.

But Peter can feel it in his heart. The stars are still there. Only hidden.

**Do you remember what you said to me?**

**'Cause we lost track of time**

**Yeah, we lost track of time**

Peter is 4 years old when he’s diagnosed with mutism.

A whole floor so full of doctors and medical technology that it feels like it’s been built just for him. He knows he was a sick baby, battling with asthma and chest infections since the day he was born. He remembers a lot of coughing and choking from before he got his powers — just an overall feeling of weakness and suffering.

Maybe that’s why it took his father so long to realize something was off with Peter’s development. Not that he blames his father. It’s just one of those things.

The toddler is nearly three and a half when his father realizes that the lack of speech may be caused by something other than constant sickness. He hadn’t spoken a single word beyond the occasional baby babbles or giggling. Nothing near what he should be for his age.

Peter and Tony in the medical bay when it happens. After endless medical tests, because there’s nothing wrong with Peter physically, the doctors resign the young boy to a life of silence. Likely, he won’t ever speak. Won’t find his voice. His loved ones will never hear the sound of his voice.

It feels like a death sentence. Like he’s lesser. Not good enough to be a Stark.

Yet nothing about his dad’s appearance falters. He retains the same level of calmness as always. He speaks to his son with love rimming his eyes. The same designer sunglasses rested on his nose that keeps him from ever getting close to anybody, but Peter can tell.

“We can work through this, Peter. Even if you’re mute for the rest of your life, I’ll be here to support you as your father. It doesn’t change anything about who you are.”

Young Peter looks up at his father with teary eyes. Disappointment in himself clouds his mind.

_"And it definitely doesn’t change how much I love you. I’ll always love you.”_

**You always let me down so tenderly**

**So live fast and die young and stay forever numb**

Peter doesn’t remember ever feeling this sick before.

He likely has. He knows he suffered from a lot of sickness as a baby. It’s evident in the way his dad’s eyes flash with worry at the slightest cough or sneeze. The overprotective nature that only the father’s loved ones get to see.

His hand pulses where the spider bit him earlier that day. It’s swollen and red, possibly with infection. It took every self-control for the teenager to hide it during the nightly dinner with his dad. It feels like a blessing when the man finally heads off to work.

The puking isn’t a good sign, either. Peter knows that alongside his extreme temperature and dizziness, it most definitely means infection. Or maybe some kind of venom?

But he can’t find it in himself to call his father up from his lab. Not when it equals a full night of his father’s worry and another trip to the med bay.

His father won’t get home until morning. He can lay in his bed numb until then.

**You said that maybe this is where it ends**

**Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made**

**Bad decisions that we made**

Peter feels better by morning, so there’s no reason to involve his dad.

Of course, there’s a whole new avalanche of complications. There’s no more sickness - the teenager feels healthier than he ever has before - but something weird is definitely happening.

The first clue is when Peter looks in the mirror. Not only does he stare back into an improved version of himself with thicker muscles and tighter clothes, but his brain short circuits as he realizes that he left his glasses on his bedside table. 

There’s only one explanation for this. He has to be dreaming.

But when he pinches himself, he doesn’t wake up. So he racks his brain for another possible solution before settling on the only obvious answer. 

The spider bite gave him superpowers.

**And if we're going down in flames**

**Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made**

**Bad decisions that we made**

Another bad decision.

Peter should tell his father about his newfound powers immediately. He knows that it’s the right thing to do. That way, his father can keep him safe. Maybe even remove them.

But that goes against everything the teenager wants. He loves his new powers. They make him special in a world where everyone is better than him. Either through looks, smarts, or even their ability to speak. This is something that makes him unique. It gives him a chance to put right into the world. 

As he rushes out the door with barely a word goodbye to his father, Peter makes a vow to himself. That he can never let his father find out his new gifts.

He spends the day sketching out a plan in his notebook. He sketches out a bunch of names until he settles on the name Spider-Man as his alter ego.

Next, he needs a costume. He can work on something tonight after his father heads to work. That way, he can stay completely anonymous. And with his dad gone every night, there’s no way he’ll ever get caught sneaking out. It’s foolproof.

He’ll need something to get around the city quickly. Maybe some type of webbing?

Peter wants to feel sorry for all of this. It feels like a bad decision — many bad decisions piling up one by one. But the decisions feel right too. Like the only obvious answer.

His dad can never know. No matter what happens.

**So we'll make the same mistakes**

**'Til the morning breaks**


	2. Chapter 2

**I’m here feeling lower than the sterling**

**How’d you look so good?**

The boy has confidence issues as Peter Parker.

Maybe that’s normal for someone who doesn’t speak. Perhaps the rest of the mute community feels the same. Peter’s visited a few support group forums, but honestly, he’s too afraid to ask. What if this is just a Peter issue. And knowing it’s just him makes it worse.

It’s hard growing up without any words to give.

Peter’s smart. Incredibly genius-level smart on his father’s side. He excels in school because of this. But the teachers never call on him because it can be challenging to pause their lesson for the time it takes Peter to write down his answer and hand it to Ned to read.

His father tried to look into this in the earlier years of Peter’s education. Often threatening the teachers for excluding his son due to his disability. But that only made them include Peter for a few weeks until things would return to normal. Then Peter didn’t want to be a bother anymore.

Maybe it’s the class bully that makes him feel that way. Flash Thompson.

The boy often follows him in the halls and talks shit about him. Like he can’t hear the horrible things being whispered. Peter’s mute. Not Deaf. He hears them all.

But the thing that gets Peter the most is how put together his father is. He’s a celebrity who’s admired by millions. He carries himself with an air of grace and elitism, though Peter knows this was less so before he was born. Doesn’t change how great his dad looks now. And how horrible and useless his son looks in comparison.

Whatever it is, it leaves the boy with a deep well of doubt in himself.

**Groundhog evening, dancing on the ceiling**

**Kubrick’s Hollywood**

Spider-Man doesn’t have these issues.

When Peter can’t talk, he’s a loser. He’s lazy. He’s broken.

When Spider-Man can’t talk, he’s a mysterious superhero. The press speculates on the reason for the hero’s lack of speech. None of their theories even land close.

It’s probably because of the mask. It’s only made of crappy cotton that Peter sewed into a kind of mask shape and added darkened goggles because his eyesight can get a bit overloaded at times. No one knows who he is under the mask.

That also means they have no expectations. No idea of what he should do or who he should be. It gives the young boy an air of freedom that he’s never experienced before.

Peter can’t lie. He absolutely loves the feeling.

**Do you remember what you said to me?**

**’Cause we lost track of time**

**Yeah, we lost track of time**

Things are different in the Stark household since Peter got his powers.

Peter can feel it. He tries his best to act as nothing has happened. That nothing has changed in their dynamic despite him sneaking out every single night to fight crime.

The boy has only once debated telling his father - after a very rough night where he had a horrible stab wound in his side. It’d taken an hour to clean every drop of blood from the floor and bathroom surfaces. Peter can’t leave a single drop of evidence.

He wraps the wound the best he can after taping it together with some medical tape that’s barely sticky enough to keep it closed. He then tops it with duct tape to be sure. 

It does eventually heal due to his super healing, but it hurts like a mother fucker for days.

That was weeks ago. Things haven’t got any better since. Tony Stark is a brilliant man and can clearly tell when his son is hiding something. But he can’t force him to speak either.

Only he probably thinks it’s about sexuality or dating or something. Typical teenage stuff. The kind of things a father would expect from his fifteen-year-old son.

Not the anxiety and confidence issues that plague Peter. And especially not superhero stuff.

Peter feels extra useless tonight. Flash had teased him in the hallway by sending a girl to pretend to be interested in him. Only for them all to laugh when Peter smiled and flirted back. It was all just a mean trick. He should have known no girls would ever be interested in him.

Flash wins. He’s the alpha male. But how is Peter supposed to explain those feelings to his father? A man who has never felt knocked down in his entire life.

And better yet, how is he supposed to express how Spider-Man makes him feel so much better. Whole. Complete. Like a person worth loving.

No. He can’t do that. Not without risking losing the only thing that makes him feel special and worth loving. He’d rather die than risk giving everything up.

**You said that maybe this is where it ends**

**Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made**

**Bad decisions that we made**

It’s a quiet night to patrol. Spider-Man hasn’t run into anyone needing his help yet.

At first, he’s thankful for a comfortable night with so much weighing on his mind. But there’s also a part of him that could really use the distraction — a way to express his frustrations.

But that’s generally how these kinds of nights start. A whole night of nothing for a single last-minute cry for help as he swings home. He knows the sound will make him late, but there’s no way Peter could ever ignore a cry in need.

The hero rounds the corner to find a darkened alleyway filled with dumpsters and abandoned cardboard boxes. Probably a stray cat or two. He nearly misses the young girl and men surrounding her from within the shadows.

Peter doesn’t need to know what’s going on to see that she needs help. All of the options are bad. He knows he has to do something before she’s hurt. And it has to be quick with how close these men are to cornering her. 

He should stop and think. Make a plan. This is more men than he’s ever faced before. He’s in nothing more than pajamas with no special training. These men are all large and dangerous. Not to mention any possible weapons they might be carrying.

Peter knows it’s dangerous. But that’s what heroes do. What he signed up for.

Spider-Man swings into the alley.

**And if we’re going down in flames**

**Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made**

**Bad decisions that we made**

Peter was right. He is very out of his skill level right now.

The one good thing is that the girl takes her chance to escape when she can. Peter slams hard onto the lid of a dumpster, and it allows her to run off while they’re all distracted. 

No matter what happens now, she is safe. That’s all Peter cares about.

He somehow manages to web a knife to the nearest wall while dodging another. It seems like they’re coming from every direction. There’s not a single second for him to catch his breath.

And Peter’s tired. It’s been a long exhausting day, already nearly two in the morning. He barely has the brainpower to come up with witty remarks to their taunts. Not that he ever says them. He just enjoys the challenge of coming up with them.

Which is probably why their latest taunt catches him so off guard. It comes from one of the largest men. He’s sticking to the wall where Peter left him.

“Aren’t you gonna say something spidey?”

“No. He’s like that freak. The Stark one.”

Peter turns to look at him. There’s a moment of understanding between the two humans. All the sadness and fear flooding Peter’s chest despite the barrier of his costume. He can’t hide his pain.

The man’s words confirm Peter’s greatest fears. He’s always seen himself as a disappointment and a failure to the Stark name. Now he knows that’s how everyone else sees him too.

It distracts him just long enough for the final attacker to stick a knife through his back.

Peter shoots the last attacker with a web and somehow manages to lodge him to the side of the building. With trembling fingers, Peter texts the only person he knows that can help. 

_ Dad. I fucked up. _

He blacks out right as his finger touches the send button.

**So we’ll make the same mistakes**

**‘Till the morning breaks**


	3. Chapter 3

**Now we find ourselves lying right here**

**Always find ourselves lying right here**

Peter opens his eyes in the place he hates most in the world: The Med Bay.

There should be pain. He knows the kind of pain that happens when an item is jammed into your body. He’s had it happen twice before: once with a knife and once with a screwdriver. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the pain that would come from having a serrated knife jammed into his flesh. Peter knows he’s very lucky to be alive.

What he can’t figure out is why he feels so painless right now. There’s a pronounced lack of pain despite the foggy memories and bandages wrapped around his chest.

That’s okay. It gives the broken hero the chance to take in the room. The clean white walls of the medical bay and the strong bleach smell that he hates. It’s only become worse with the intensity of his powers. Every one of his senses has been magnified.

He freezes when he sees his father in the corner - messy and broken.

**Can we make the same mistakes (Ooh)**

**‘Til the morning breaks**

The disappointment in his father’s eyes takes him back to long ago. It mirrors the last day they were in this room together - Peter’s disability dropped like a heavy bomb. There’s no escape from the words his father said on that day.

_“And it definitely doesn’t change how much I love you. I’ll always love you.”_

**Can we make the same mistakes**

**‘Til the morning breaks**

Tony holds the flimsy fabric of Peter’s Spider-Man mask in his hand.

He knows everything. There’s no way Peter could possibly hide his vigilante lifestyle now. Not after his father had to fly down in his Ironman suit to rescue his sorry ass.

“So this is what you’ve been hiding from me? You are Spider-Man?”

The boy responds with a nod and clouded eyes.

“You… you have abilities now. Yeah?”

The boy nods again. He’s not sure what else he can do. He’s sure his father has endless questions for him, but Peter doesn’t feel like signing right now. He doesn’t think he could with the number of painkillers in his system.

“It doesn’t change anything Peter. I want you to know that.”

He’s wrong. It changes everything. And hiding away is only going to make things worse. But there’s no way to explain that to his dad with his currently limited word set.

“I’m serious Peter. It doesn’t change how much I love you. I’ll always love you.”

**You said that maybe this is where it ends**

**(Maybe this is where it ends)**

Peter’s sure that this is the end of his superhero career. That his dad’s gonna ban it because it’s too dangerous, and he could get hurt. This is the moment he’s been trying to prevent for months. Or at the least push off until he’s old enough to make his own decisions.

But it’s a confirmation of what his dad thinks of him. What the world thinks of him. What he thinks of himself. The insecurities and fears welling up inside him.

Tony Stark can be a superhero. He can handle the world because there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s a good dad. And an even greater man. 

Peter is the complete opposite. He can’t handle this kind of responsibility as a disabled person. If he can’t even find it in him to speak, how can he be entrusted with keeping people safe?

Peter’s so terrified he’s ready to cry. He knows the words will come from his father’s mouth any second now. The unbearable silence between them can only last so long. And then his father will forbid him from ever practicing hero’s work again.

The words from his father’s mouth don’t surprise him one bit.

“Maybe this is where it ends.”

**Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made**

**Bad decisions that we made**

“But maybe it isn’t. I’ve never been one to give up on a good thing.” 

Peter is shocked to hear those words from his father’s mouth.

He was expecting much worse. Punishments. Disappointment of astronomical proportions. The typical kind of thing that happens when a child so willingly disobeys their parent.

This was never a misunderstanding. This was an intentional decision on Peter’s part. He hid his powers on purpose so that he could keep doing what he loved. Even though he knew there was no way in hell that his father would approve. He knows he did a really big bad.

And while he expected his father to have a baseline understanding of the feelings behind his decision - only because his father has been Ironman for over a decade - there isn’t a single part of Peter’s being that expected his dad to be supportive of his decision.

His father’s words - and support - mean more than Peter could ever express. There’s a mutual understanding between them. The need to make a difference and agonizing pull to do what’s right. To protect their loved ones no matter what it takes.

This is the end of the hiding. The end of the lies. The end of the fear.

But it isn’t the end of Spider-Man. 

**And if we’re going down in flames**

**Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made**

**Bad decisions that we made**

This is new territory for Peter.

When he made his original suit, it was mostly with a crappy sewing machine he “borrowed” from his home economics class. It was enough to cover his identity but didn’t do much beyond that. Nothing like the fantastic Ironman suits his father was known for designing.

But this suit is designed by his father. They’re going to work together on a new suit in the future. Still, apparently, his father had been preparing this one the whole time — something special for the masked vigilante that’s been patrolling the streets.

“You can’t patrol in a onesie. It isn’t safe.”

Peter knows it’s true. But he never expected something like this.

It fits his new body shape perfectly. Not only that, but his father walks him through some of the entry-level features, including a built-in heater and artificial intelligence he names Karen. He also promises more features in the future as they do training sessions together.

It was easy to forget that his father was always his biggest supporter in all the chaos and fear. It’s something that he’ll always remember now. No matter what happens next.

Peter wraps his hands around his dad and gives him the biggest hug of his life.

The action speaks the words his mouth can’t say.

_“I love you so much dad.”_

**So we’ll make the same mistakes**

**‘Til the morning breaks (Ooh)**

“Homework done?”

“Homework is done,” Peter signs back to his father.

“Because you know the rules. No patrolling until your homework is done.”

“I know, dad. It’s all done. Did most of it on the subway,” the boy quickly shoots back, his eyes rolling a bit at his dad’s overprotectiveness, but he knows it’s only because he’s loved.

“You promise to go straight to med bay if you get hurt, right? And text me?”

“Yes, dad. I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

Tony sighs. Letting his son patrol is one of the most challenging parts of being a father. He’s so proud of the man his son is becoming, but like any parent, there’s a part deep down inside him that worries that he hasn’t prepared his son enough for a life like this.

Peter doesn’t doubt. Not as Spider-Man. There’s sometimes doubt as Peter Parker, but that part is getting better with each passing day. He’s trying his best to not separate the two figures, as per his new therapist’s suggestion. It actually seems to make a difference.

That’s not the only thing that makes a difference. His dad’s support means the world to him. Peter thinks about how much he loves his dad as he hangs onto the side of the building. A familiar position with a whole new meaning now that it’s not an escape.

The city breathes below him. The hero can feel it in his chest. A protective spark of the people he feels compelled to protect — his purpose in life.

There’s nowhere else he’d rather be. He is home.

**So we’ll make the same mistakes**

**‘Til the morning breaks**

Peter still has a long way to go when it comes to his confidence. He’s trying. Really trying. Not the fake show he used to put on for his father’s sake.

And maybe hiding away as a super-powered hero isn’t the best decision, but he knows he’ll get there eventually. These things take time.

There’s no rush to fix his brain overnight. He’s got his whole life ahead of him and the support of his dad. He doesn’t need to be perfect. No one ever expected that of him.

But he’ll never forget what his father said to him. And how right he was.

Nothing changes love between family. And Peter loves his dad more than anything.

**Do you remember what you said to me?**

**’Cause we lost track of time**

**Yeah, we lost track of time**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. I wanted to do something different than my usual fics, and with so much going on with my family this year, the short drabble format gave me a chance to skip in and out of writing.
> 
> Honestly, I'm super proud of how this fic turned out. It's one for my catalog. And I hope my giftee loves it just as much <3
> 
> Please leave a review below. This year has been hard and writing has been near impossible for me, so I could use any motivation possible.


End file.
